Shark cage diving is not for the faint of heart. One tempts a messy death when stepping into a cage submerged in water chummed with blood and fish guts. It's a reckless and foolhardy endeavor.

Even more reckless and foolhardy is shark diving sans cage.

It was my intention was to come and dive the Aliwal Shoal, one of Jacques Cousteau's top 10 diving destinations. When asked if I would like to add shark diving to the package I agreed without giving it much thought.

As it turns out, I picked a shitty day to go diving. The Aliwal Shoal dive was a blowout, ruined by poor visibility (13m) and strong currents despite the placid waters above. I did get to see a few ragged tooth sharks, a sea turtle the a size of a coffee as well as a whale calf on the way to the dive site but overall not a great diving trip (swimming with whale sharks spoils you).

Snorkeling with whale sharks in Ningaloo

The shark dive however, was exhilarating while also an exercise in extreme sphincter control (fortunately I had the foresight to evacuate my bowels beforehand). Having done cage diving with Great Whites on a previous trip to SA, I thought I knew what to expect. Nope. This was a whole different uh... kettle of fish.

During the "safety orientation" delivered to me by a bleary eyed teenager (no doubt recovering from last night's rager), I was told that blacktips sometimes succumb to curiosity, gauging interest by biting. To deter this behaviour, the accepted tactic is to stare them down. Supposedly, seeing whites of your eyes intimidates them. I silently wonder if being Asian puts me at a distinct disadvantage.

Also, is it even possible to intimidate a shark ? I feel like these are false coping tactics told to adventure seekers so they don't panic and make a dash for the surface, further exciting a shark's predatory instincts. One thing he does say makes sense however. Should a shark come for you, you must always chose fight over flight. In the water, there's no point trying to out swim these creatures unless you want to cosplay as Oscar Pistorius or have a fondness for wheelchairs.

Wrapping up, my divemaster mentions one last thing, "sometimes tiger sharks like to come here. If they do I'll be sure to bring one your way." Evidently in this part of the world you get what you pay for. "You can tell they're about to bite because their eyes close just before." Ok then. "All you have to do is push down on their noses and they'll swim away" he says nonchalantly as if it were as simple as closing a car bonnet. I make tentative downward motions and he nods approvingly. Now inoculated against shark attacks with double doses of misinformation and false testimony I jump in the boat and we speed off to meet the predators of the deep.

Being swarmed by a dozen blacktips competing for sardines makes for an unsettling experience. I swear that when viewed from the safety of the boat, these blacktips didn't seem so threatening at only 4-5 feet in length. Once you're completely immersed in their element however, they seem to double in size and ferocity making you wish your airtanks could support whiskey to sooth fraying nerves.

The feeling of vulnerability is only augmented by the low visibility. You catch glimpses of a fin here, a row of teeth there or maybe the faint outline of one of the beasts before it speeds off. You can almost hear the low alternating notes of a piano.

But by far the worst is when, fixing you with that appraising, dispassionate eye, they swim straight towards you or up at you from below, veering off at the last instant. Victim to an over-active imagination, a result of one too many episodes of Discovery Channel no doubt, you're overcome with visions of giant gaping maws and serrated teeth.

A small part of the brain whispers "Wow isn't this amazing? Front row seats to the spectacle of Nature! Let's enjoy this." But overwhelmingly, the largest and most rational part screams "GET OUT OF THE WATER YOU FOOL! DERE BE SHARKS!" The whole dive lasts 45 minutes during which I give myself whiplash by trying to stare in eight different directions at once.

By the time the experience is over, my adrenal glands are thoroughly depleted and I sense the onset of hypertension. I order a beer which immediately flattens me and I need remind myself that I've paid for this privilege. In retrospect, it was an experience but not one I'd repeat anytime soon.